Those Who Host #2: Saba Ahmed, Tiny Dinner
"The best hosts I know aren't necessarily the best cooks or mixologists. They simply know how to use food and drinks as a vehicle for warmth and connection."
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In a world that’s becoming increasingly isolated, some people slow down to bring others together. “Those Who Host” is a series highlighting NYC’s community builders - those creating connection, conversation, and belonging in their own way, one gathering at a time.
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Tell us about yourself and the story behind what you/your organization hosts today.
I'm Pakistani-American, a lifelong New Yorker, and an introvert turned community builder. I'm building Tiny Dinner, a community and platform for dinner parties with friends of friends in people's homes. We're based in New York and recently expanded to LA and Miami. The mission is to inspire people to host.
Before this, I worked in digital media at theSkimm. Community and hosting have always been a throughline in my life, and a few years ago I felt called to dedicate my next chapter to building community. That's when I left theSkimm and, soon after, met Morgan, my cofounder.
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What inspired you to start hosting? Was it tied to a specific memory or a specific moment when you realized people needed this kind of gathering?
It started with my parents. My family is big on hosting and I grew up watching, and helping, them throw elaborate dinner parties. Even so, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I really started to think of myself as a host or community builder.
Coming out of the pandemic, I was feeling a real sense of disconnection, and I knew I wasn't the only one craving a deeper sense of community. So I conspired with a friend to throw a dance party. We each invited everyone we knew and told them to bring a friend. I watched people connect in a way I wasn’t seeing elsewhere, and I was hooked.
One party turned into several more. Over time, the dance parties became dinner parties, but the throughline remained: building community by gathering friends of friends. Eventually I met Morgan, and we decided to build Tiny Dinner together.
What does “a good host” mean to you? and what role do food and drinks play in setting the tone?
A good host is someone who makes their guests feel welcome and cared for. Food and drinks are a natural part of that because there is something deeply human about feeding one another. Across cultures, sharing food has been one of our oldest rituals of connection. That said, the best hosts I know aren’t necessarily the best cooks or mixologists. They simply know how to use food and drinks as a vehicle for warmth and connection.
What’s the least glamorous part of hosting that people don’t see?
It’s the 30 minutes before guests arrive when you’re chopping vegetables for the salad you forgot about, making sure there’s extra toilet paper in the bathroom, wondering whether you made enough rice, and hoping all your guests will mesh well. It takes a lot of effort but I believe anything worth doing does.
Has anything you’ve hosted ever gone wrong in a memorable way?
So many times. Just the other day, I hosted a pizza night thinking it would be the easiest dinner I’d ever hosted, no cooking. Right when everyone had sat down, hungry and ready to dig in, I opened the pizza box and it was empty. The pizza place had delivered an empty box. Immediately, my guests erupted into laughter. It ended up being a hilarious moment that we bonded over – and a fresh pizza arrived in no time.
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NYC makes gathering logistically hard: small apartments, noise, cost. Has the city ever shaped what you do in an unexpected way?
I lived in Queens when I was younger, and I remember my parents cramming people into our tiny apartment when they hosted, so small spaces never fazed me. There’s an Urdu saying: “dil mein jagah honi chahiye” — all you need is room in the heart. In fact, I think small spaces can create intimacy in a way that works beautifully for connecting people. A great dinner party might mean six people huddled around a coffee table. I’ve also been inspired by some of our Tiny Dinner hosts, who get very creative in making their spaces feel warm and welcoming, no matter the size.
How has hosting changed your relationship with the city?
Hosting has made New York City feel bigger and smaller at the same time.
It can be easy to get stuck in the same social circles here, or to go years without really finding your people, because the city is so transient and it’s genuinely hard to make new friends as an adult. Hosting regularly has brought new people into my world who I may not have otherwise crossed paths with, while also helping me build deeper relationships with existing friends. Now, whenever I meet someone interesting, I invite them to my next dinner party. The more I host, the more unexpected mutual connections I discover, which makes the city feel more familiar and connected.
"Creating community" has almost become a buzzword these days - what does it actually take to build something that lasts?
It takes consistency. Community is not a large Instagram following or a beautiful brand dinner. It's the hard, messy, analog work of bringing people together again and again with the right intentions. There's a version of it designed for optics and marketing, and then there's the one where actual relationships are formed, and the latter is what I'm rooting for.
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Let's wrap up with some rapid fire Q's.
Hosting is ___________ ?
An act of service.
A good gathering always has ________?
A memorable conversation you're still thinking about the next day.
Best convo you heard while hosting?
A true moment of serendipity: a guest shared his favorite opening line to a novel. Another guest lifted the side of her shirt to reveal that she had that exact line tattooed on her ribcage.
Your 1-3 hosting essentials or must-haves?
A cheese board, a table question, and the perfect playlist.
What is one tip/hosting hack you’d give to aspiring hosts? Is there anything you'd do differently starting out?
Don't overthink it, just put a date on the calendar.
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What’s coming up for you or Tiny Dinner? How can interested folks get involved?
Tiny Dinner is on a mission to inspire more people to host. If you love to host, or aspire to, and want to get involved, you can learn more and share your info at tiny-dinner.com.
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